As I write this post, those who are participating in Faith Church’s 4-Year Bible Reading Plan called Cover to Cover are finishing up a journey through the Old Testament Book of Proverbs. The final chapter of this book features one of its best known passages: the description of a virtuous woman (a “wife of noble character”) found in Proverbs 31:10-31. This passage is often utilized as a model which Christian women are to aspire to and of the sort of woman a Christian man should seek to marry. At the same time, some have questioned whether the description of the woman given here is an unrealistic and unattainable standard to reach and may reinforce various stereotypes as this woman seems to be doing everything while her husband hangs out at the city gates! Thus, it might be an unfair and unreasonable weight upon a woman.
A question about this passage that is rarely asked or explored, however, is why it stands as the last passage in this book about wisdom. Is this an odd conclusion, or is it a logical one for this work? Such an exploration, I believe, will help give us a proper understanding of this passage and prevent it from becoming an impossible ideal.
Back to the Beginning – A Mother’s Instruction
The description of this virtuous woman begins at verse ten, so it is only part of Proverbs 31. The first nine verses feature words of a King Lemuel (a figure about whom we know nothing else) that he received from his mother. These words warn him against some of the common pitfalls for royalty: women, wine, and injustice. Scholars debate whether these words from King Lemuel’s mother continue into verse 10; is this description of a virtuous woman the advice that King Lemuel’s mother is giving him and thus, what she desires to see in a daughter-in-law? If so, this might give some hints at why it can seem so unrealistic and unattainable, as mothers often want the best for their sons and can have impossible demands upon the woman they marry.
Since there is no clear break in the text like there is in other places in Proverbs when a new collection of sayings is introduced, I think there is some intention for us to see these words either as the continuation of those from King Lemuel’s mother (or at least as having a connection to these words). In addition, this return to a description of a “wife of noble character” hearkens back to the beginning of the words from the queen mother (Proverbs 31:3), and perhaps the pursuits of such a woman would help the young king in his life and rule.
The fact that the last chapter of Proverbs introduces the teaching of a mother should not be lost, as a key theme throughout Proverbs is to listen to the teaching of one’s father and mother. Much of the first nine chapters of Proverbs is framed as the teaching of a father to the son; the ending chapter thus revisits this theme with a slight variation (as is common in proverbial sayings, to say something similar but in a different way) and offers a frame to this collection of wisdom sayings. Therefore, rather than a sudden end to the book, it offers a fitting conclusion.
Back to the Beginning – A Choice to Make
The parental frame to this teaching is not the only way the description of this woman in Proverbs 31 points back to the beginning of the book. In the first nine chapters of Proverbs, you also see two women continually described. One is Lady Wisdom, as wisdom is personified as a woman who calls out to the simple and invites them into a relationship with her (see e.g., 1:20-33; 9:1-9). At the same time, there is another woman who calls out: Lady Folly, who seeks to lure in the young man and lead him into destruction (see e.g., 7:6-27; 9:13-18). Not only does the description of this woman recall this motif, but there are various ways in which the description of the woman in Proverbs 31 matches the description of Lady Wisdom earlier in the book. For example, both are said to be more precious than jewels (3:15; 31:10) and lead others to security (1:33; 31:21, 26) and wealth (3:13-14; 31:11-20). Other motifs from the discussion of Lady Wisdom that recur in Proverbs 31 are references to the city gates (1:21 and 31:31) and the fear of the Lord (1:7; 9:10; 31:30). Interestingly, this woman’s husband is said to trust in her (31:11), with the heart of the Book of Proverbs being that we should not trust in ourselves – and by implication, others – but rather in God alone (3:5-6).
This connection to Lady Wisdom leads some to say that the Proverbs 31 woman should not be seen as an actual figure one should seek to attain, but rather as a Wisdom personified. Thus, it is not a standard for a woman to live, but rather a final call back to the son (the audience of the book) to “marry” wisdom. Further supporting this idea could be that this list is not given to a woman on how to live, but rather for the son on whom to find.
While I definitely think there is a link between this description in Proverbs 31 and the picture of Lady Wisdom earlier in the book, I don’t think this link exhausts the significance of this figure in Proverbs 31, especially since there is that note about this particular woman fearing the Lord (31:30). Rather than viewing the Proverbs 31 woman as Wisdom, I think she is the woman who has found wisdom.
Returning to the End – Wisdom in Action
In addition to the links to the figure of Wisdom in Proverbs 1-9, there are also connections between the woman of Proverbs 31 and the life of wisdom described throughout the Book of Proverbs. The book talks a lot about the dangers of laziness and the need for hard work (e.g., 10:4; 12:11; 13:4; 14:23), but this woman is a hard worker whose work is rewarded (31:13-18, 27). There are numerous proverbs that speak about the need to care for the poor (e.g., 14:31; 19:17; 22:9), and this woman helps those who are needy (31:30-21). Her lips offer wisdom and instruction (31:26), embodying the numerous calls in Proverbs for good and healthy speech (e.g., 10:13; 14:3; 15:1, 4). The statement that “charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting” (31:30) echoes the reality noted throughout the Book of Proverbs that appearances can be deceiving and our goals and plans should be directed towards the right things (fear of the Lord) rather than wealth, reputation, and earthly prestige. Even the fact that this description talks both about work and home life illustrates the reality that wisdom in living applies and is reflected in both realms.
These connections to key themes in Proverbs point to the Proverbs 31 woman as being an illustration of a woman who has found wisdom; it is wisdom in action in a particular life. Therefore, the description itself is not meant to be a checklist of specifics of what a woman should be like in all times and places, but a picture of what a life of wisdom could look like in the context of the ancient world. The pathway to blessing and praise comes from fearing the Lord and trusting in Him; this gives a confidence in life and purpose in action. Wisdom is never a blind imitation of someone else, but rather looking at the various underlying principles that drive action and then seeking to bring those principles to bear in your life.
The fact that this final description is that of a woman who has found wisdom is significant. While the frame of the book is for young men (the speeches are to “my son”), this description shows that wisdom is something that both men and women should pursue. Women are to listen to the book and live out the wisdom as well – and men should listen to this list and also seek to embody these truths. May we all pursue wisdom, putting it into practice in our lives and seeing the blessings and joys that emerge from it.
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